We are powerful
Today, I come here with a story. With my experiences. But I am sure of one thing, there must be bigger stories around me as well. We prefer not to share. I realised this a bit late in my life because when I think of myself and the challenges I have, I feel why to be a victim and tell people to gain sympathy. This is my first piece of writing about this journey. This is going to be tough. Because there are many things that were so much personal when I was undergoing the whole process of treatments and recovery. And now I know it is not personal, it is something the world should know. Because if not you, someone in one corner of the world is waiting to hear me and get inspired.
A fortunate child with no qualms in life suddenly saw the world crashing down just because something grew inside me. I was unfortunate to have it when all the things in life were so perfect. That’s what I thought then. It was when I went through the journey, when I had to accept the damages that are permanent and when I had to watch some people walk away from my life, I knew , I was at the turning point of my life.
It’s from that point my life took many turns and brought me closer to myself and my dreams. Life has bigger plans and we just don’t know why we are so much miserable.
There were many days when I was feeling miserable for myself, I wanted to just come out of this nightmare. It was an endless process then. Repeated treatments, scans, bouts of anxiety, medicines etc. I was thinking that’s not the life I had ever imagined for anyone. Why me? My mind was slowly digging in depression and I was aware that I shouldn’t be going down that road. I had to be proactive and prevent myself from going in serious depression. I had to save my energy to bring myself in a better position from what I was becoming otherwise. There were no choices before me than to deal with the situation. Deep down I wanted to push away all this and have a strong come back to life. I knew the day I will be capable to do little things, majorly walking on my own, a new set of challenges will open before me. But the good part was I always kept this thought, one day when I will walk…. I was deep down sending the message that I will be walking again one day.
One fine day I independently started walking but now the journey was different – within me and outside. Things started to change drastically. People from my life started to walk out. I was in the reincarnation state of mind, soul and as an individual. Some new people walked in which helped me in building a whole new perspective, to discover the new sides in me and to build me even more stronger and loving towards myself and others. It was not just me, it was those people around me who helped me to reach where I am today in my life. It was because of those people who contributed in their own ways that helped me to shape my thoughts and life once again. Not just the ones who never left me, but also the ones who taught me that nothing in life is permanent. I had seen the broken sides in me – physically and emotionally. So, I needed power to get back to the track and I needed it desperately.
I had phases to deal with it, and fortunately I got this understanding that everything is happening for a reason. I stopped questioning and started believing even more on the bigger forces in life Eventually, I reached a point where I believed that the power inside me will contribute in the efforts that I will put in whatever I will do. There was a period in my life when I spent a lot of time with just myself. When I was on the hospital bed, I had a plenty of time for myself. Lying there and imagining a world for myself which was next to impossible gave me jitters and gave me power at the same time. Everyday I was making plans how to come one step closer to the life I imagine for myself.
There are threes strong verticals in a human body – BODY, MIND and SOUL. If any one of these gets weaker, start working on the other two. I did that. I was not knowing it back then but when I look back now, I see what I was doing there. We all have this mechanism in us that gives us a little power to go along or against something. But it depends on us how much we believe in it. I accepted myself and accept myself but yes, I still work for a better version of myself. I still see some challenges and I haven’t stopped working on it